by Admin on July 23rd, 2010
filed under Get Some!
I’ve already talked about cheating and being cheated on, but I haven’t yet delved into my real area of expertise. The details aren’t really flattering, but I’m ready to sit down in my virtual confessional and air some of my dirty laundry. My name is Mikal, and I am a homewrecker.
Well to be fair, I’m a recovering homewrecker. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s not exactly something I’m ashamed of either. Hell, some homes need to be wrecked. I can’t help it if I like to throw rocks at glass houses. Still I won’t pretend to have had any noble intentions. Usually I did it all for the nookie.
The thing about being the other woman is that it’s kind of like the tree in the forest. If a man cheats and there’s no one around to hear it, it might as well not have happened. Because of this, some mistresses and misteresses feel that it’s almost their duty to alert the betrayed spouse to their cheating partner’s ways…but not me.
First of all, I was never duped. With every man I ever slept with who already had a boyfriend/partner—and there have been a few—I knew exactly what the situation was going in. It wasn’t that I didn’t care…ok it was that I didn’t care. Monogamy isn’t sacred. It’s an agreement between two people. And so long as I’m not one of those two people it’s really got nothing to do with me.
But I can’t say I haven’t gotten my hands dirty. In some cases it really was just a matter of getting swept away by emotions, one thing leading to another and before I knew it things had gotten out of hand (and into my bedroom). In other cases, though, I’ll admit to calculatingly (and successfully) stealing someone’s man. It’s how my heart misbehaves. But either way I never felt particularly guilty.
In some ways it was as simple as thinking that I might find true happiness with the other person, even though they were already in a relationship with someone else. Sometimes I did hope that they might leave their man to be with me (and for all you aspiring other women out there, let me tell you…it never happened). In other ways though, that’s just a lie you tell yourself.
We all want what we can’t have. And almost as much as the one cheating, the other woman gets to have her cake and eat it too…and then eat someone else’s cake. Whether I was hoping a relationship would come out of it or not, I was mostly content just having someone who kept coming back to me. I was getting sex, sometimes dates, a loose form of companionship, and I didn’t owe them anything. I was free to see other people and didn’t have to explain anything to them that I didn’t want to.
The problems came when I got attached, or when the partner who was being cheated on found out, suddenly shattering the whole illusion and exposing it for what it really is: dishonorable at best. Sometimes just plain sordid.
And ultimately I realized that the real confession I had to make was to myself. I was hiding from something. Real commitment. Real love. So long as I was chasing the things I couldn’t have, I didn’t have to face the things I could. By being involved with unavailable men…I didn’t really have to get involved with anyone. I won’t say I had a fear of commitment, but I certainly seemed to have an aversion to it. And it was only when I asked myself why I’d become a habitual other woman that I was able to break the habit…for now anyway.
So there’s my confession. One Our Father, two Bloody Marys, and as always…Get Some!